UNLOVE (chapter-: 1-3 )
UNLOVE
– if you think loving is hard,you’ve never loved
CHAPTER – 1
I am sitting in my balcony with a cup of coffee I looked down, I want to jump.I mostly don’t let my intrusive thoughts win but today…today is a day I really want them to.
My name is Esme, it means LOVE, how Ironically funny that is because in my life I have everything but LOVE. My parents had an arranged marrige and my father loved another women. since the day my mother married that man she craved for his love all she got was his lust. Since the day I was born I craved for my father’s love but all I got was pain unbearable pain every time I’d try to find love in his eyes all I would get was hatred,I could see that in his deep brown eyes. I got his eyes because of genetics but I never wanted to see the way he sees the world.
“Esme!! Esme!!!!” Mila yelled
Mila – Why aren’t you ready yet!!!! We’re getting late listen I don’t want all the cute guys to leave. I have needs okay!
Esme – Didn’t you went on a date just yesterday?
Mila- so? Don’t you think I need to go look for my THE ONE !
Esme – *chuckled * sure you should ( Mila is my roommate although she is very sweet, her quest to find the ONE sometimes makes me envy her. how easy is it for her to trust someone and believe them I can never believe that someone would love me, my own father never did why would someone else love me? )
Mila – *snapped her fingers *Esme! We have to reach today can you stop thinking and go get ready!
Esme – I will but where are we going? Where can we find your forever?
Mila – my friend has organized a pre- Christmas party and you’re getting DRESSED! You won’t go there in your hoodie and trouser!
Esme – oh please! I want to wear my comfy clothes, also you are the one who’s on her love quest and I’m going there for the free food .
Mila – fine… fine wear whatever you want just go get ready and don’t ditch me like last time.
*Esme leaves the room *
Esme- * opens her wardrobe * ( picking up clothes has never been much of a difficult task for me , but today I want to look good for some reason)
Esme picked a white long frock ( this was given to me by Mila when she forced me to go on my first date.He was a sweet guy just the fact that he was not familiar with the concept of body type he looked at me and said “you look good but don’t you think you’ll look better if you’d have a bit smaller waist”. Yeah another reason I don’t try finding love )
Esme- * I wore that frock, wore a light pink lipstick , applied little blush *(should I wear heels? Naah that’ll be too much effort for a pizza )
*I wore my white sneakers * (All done! All ready to get judged again! )
*Esme entered the hall* ( Mila is standing near the doorway fixing her dress, then her hair, then her dress)
Esme –( I’m pretty sure she really wants to date someone)
Mila- Mam sorry who are you? Dude you look so good, Ahaa I see someone wants to get lucky tonight!
Esme- thanks but I’d rather get lucky with getting my book getting published tomorrow and not this.
Mila – classic Esme *she sighs* now enough of you let’s get going!
Chapter – 2
*The house was so bright, the front yard was decorated with fairy lights on all the trees , sweet smell of Orchids flowing in the breeze the entrance was decorated with funny little posters and quotes even the rug was clean *
Mila -who in the world has a rug this clean… we need to move in here Esme
Esme – I know right! I’m scared stepping my shoes in this rug I mean look at it so clean!
*Alex opens the door*(Alex is Mila’s co-worker or should I say THE ONE , Although Mila still in on the quest to find her forever Alex already found it in Mila)
Alex – *shaky voice* Hey Mila.. Thanks for coming, you look beautiful today *Smiles*
Mila – You’re drunk aren’t you?
Alex – 2 bottles down otherwise how can I admire your beauty
Mila -*Sighs* Don’t mind him Esme he acts like a human when he’s sober
*We went to the living room*( this is the cleanest house I’ve ever seen in my entire life also not to forget the most well organized house with A WHOLE WALL FILLED WITH BOOKS! )
Esme – *I quickly rushed to the bookshelf and finally found my comfort book Madeline Miller’s “Circe” * Coffee! I spoke to myself I need coffee and this would be the perfect Christmas ever !
Perfect days according to me were the days I’d get time with me and my books with coffee little did I know god had other plan for my perfect day. I went to the kitchen until at the corner I found a coffee machine, I took a mug from the cabinet and moved to the coffee machine , My steps didn’t worked my body didn’t worked my whole self stopped working when I saw HIM.
CHAPTER 3
He was standing near the coffee machine, His eyes were the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life those beautiful brown eyes. His face was so charismatic I’d never stop looking at it, his arms were so distracting all I wanted was him to hold me in his arms all i wanted was to look at those eyes for the rest of my life all i wanted to wake up next to him and see his face, if beauty had a face it would be this man.
I was admiring everything about him until my intrusive thoughts yelled at me telling me that I don’t deserve love ,Love is not for me, I should not love I SHOULD NOT LOVE!
Esme – I should not love calm yourself *I spoke softly *
Jase – Sorry?
Esme *(HIS VOICE! As soon as his voice clicked my ears all I saw infront of my eyes was light, my strength to not fall for this man broke and shattered into pieces all I could think of that very moment was to hear this voice everyday for the rest of my life, I want to hear him say my name , I want to hear him talk , I want to hear him shout everything that is to be done with that voice I want it to be done for me. )
Esme – I am really sorry I was just talking to myself
Jase -Oh it’s fine *Jase smiled *
Esme – (He Smiled! HE SMILED . All my intrusive thoughts that were telling me how l should not love, left and all I should hear after seeing that smile were WHY SHOULD I NOT LOVE? I should love because this man is worth every penny of love that there is in this world he is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen his eyes, His face, HIS VOICE and HIS SMILE THAT DAMM SMILE!
