My Sis: Through My Eyes (13)

Chapter – 13 (For A Mineful of Memories)

There was a time when I had dreams, big dreams in my eyes. We, brothers and sisters, lived under the same blissful roof. I am talking about the late 60s or early 70s. I won’t say that there were no glitches, no fights or misunderstandings. But then we made up for the bad vibes as quickly as we lived like the well-knit family that ours was.

I can’t think of my childhood without my Sis. Somewhere else I wrote about that incident. An incident that stays glued to my memory. I was in class four of a nearby school. My Sis had already crossed the hurdle of primary schooling and was admitted in Brahmha Balika Siskshalaya, a very reputed school in Bengal at that time.

It was just before school was to be over on that black, bleak day when I felt my stomach recoiling. There was an aiya but I knew that if I had to call and wait for her, things would reach a critical point. I hurried to the bathroom at the corner of that big classroom. I made it there all right, just in the nick of time. The image of that small boy, his pants down and shitted into along with the muck slithering down, is another memory of a life time. I did not know what to do. So lost and lonely I felt inside. Calling out to the aiya would be risky. The classmates were back by then and the aiya was no better than one of those shrews. Once she got into one of her moods, hell would break loose. May The Almighty be merciful to anyone who had to confront with her foul mood! Once she started calling someone’s names, there was no stopping her. She was well- known all over the locality for her tongue-lashing. So, limpid as a wet cat, I decided to stay inside for as long as I could. But the problem was that that was the only bathroom in the school then. Someone must have got up to answer the nature’s call sometime later, found the loo latched from inside with no one responding to the knocks. Finally, the teacher in the class, who hadn’t noticed my absence till then, bellowed out to the masi (the aiya) and down she came on the door of the bathroom like the tsunami!

I can still see that boy with tears streaming down his face, looking timid and frightened, expecting something terrible to happen. This is what happened finally. The aiya kept on haranguing me. My class mates had a whale of a time at my shitty expense. And standing near the door of the bathroom, I must have cut a pathetic figure looking all so forlorn, confused and ashamed.

It was exactly at that time, I saw my Sis sauntering up towards me. She was a very popular figure even then in the school, even a year after she had left that school. I remember how the Headmistress, Shefalidi; the motherly figure, Krishnadi and all the other teachers gloated and swooned over her. So, as soon as she stepped inside the school premises, things were bound to be under control. Next, my Sis holding me by the hand, took me outside for a thorough cleansing job.I can’t recollect her making faces or covering her nose during the laborious operation even for once! Sometimes, while reminiscing all those bittersweet days of childhood, it is hard to believe how she always came to my rescue as only an adorable sister should. And to think that she is my elder by two and a half years is just an incredible feeling.

Now to come back to my dreams, dear reader, I had lots of dreams in my eyes during my growing up days at 41. Like I dreamt that my late Ma would never leave us alone. She would always be there for us. But then things started changing. Ma got confined to her bed. I don’t know how she came to be left at the merci of those paid nurses. She was such a lonely figure – sitting, singing, sleeping all by herself. Once during lunchtime, I was sitting by her side, when Buladi, her maid, slammed down the plate of rice on the stool in front of her. Turning her head, she asked me in a very feeble voice, not being very confident of her youngest child any more,,” Baba, duti khabi?” ( My son, will you have a little bit with me?). An offer that I rejected huffing and puffing.

“Ma, when will you understand? Jaya (my wife) is waiting down there for me……”

My Ma ate through the rest of her meal, with her head bent low! I feel ashamed to be called s ‘matribhakto’ chheley (dotting son).

These days when I go down, I don’t feel so very upset when I find my Sis sitting, sipping, sleeping all by herself in that dingy room on the first floor. It is like history repeating itself. Ma’s place being taken by one of her favourite daughters! A lot of water has flown down the Ganges since my Ma’s demise in 2006. I have also grown up and awakened to the realization that you come to the world alone and at the time of your last journey, you go back alone. Right now I see my Ma, sitting in her lonely bed, her legs hanging down, singing in an soulful voice;

Pita, putro, mitro, / du diner Matro…Your father, son and friend are there to give you company just for a day or two…

Then, and then with the passage of time, they will be gone, leaving an irreparable void in your heart and a mindful of haunting memories that will keep you awake and longing for those unforgettable days for as long as you live.