My Sis: Through My Eyes (6)
Chapter-6
“Never ever change what makes you who you are,
Be always aware, my sister, of the two-faced monsters.”
There is a very famous proverb in English: YOU SEE THE WORLD AS YOU ARE!
Whenever I think of my sister, Tapasi, I am reminded of this maxim. It also reminds me of the Bengali equivalent “Chorer Mar Baro Gala” (The guilty one makes the loudest noise). YOU, all my dear masked people, mend your ways when there is still time before it gets too late.
Anyway, to come back to my sis, she seems to be living in an illusory world trying to forget and forgive. That day when my Ma was sitting on the divan inside the Baitokkhana (drawing room), I simply can’t get out of my mind. Truth will be out and it cannot be hidden for long. When my Ma, and two nieces were crying their hearts out while the pre-planned scene was being enacted to a T, I preferred to keep quiet. The reason was sometime back I got involved in a similar scene. Someone even scratched me in the scuffle. Foolish me, while sitting by my Ma’s bed, I was still bragging thinking those fellas really loved us.
“Ma, I could have fought with him, I could have at least taught a lesson to that Man..” My Ma, the best mother one can have in this world, looked pain stricken and cried out: Is this the reason, why I brought you up so that you siblings would be after each other’s throat?” So, when the scene was being enacted, I stayed still, unable to believe that these people could go to that extent. I learnt the true meaning of SIBLING RIVALRY and JEALOUSY that day.
Anyway, my sis has changed a lot. So much has happened in her life that it is a wonder that she still believes in Gods. I don’t know if there is any God. But I believe in basic goodness. I don’t like being looked upon as a two-faced man. I want posterity to remember me as someone who led a simple life and didn’t try to pull everyone down. They find it utterly difficult to accept others’ contributions in their lives, but they are the ones who go on making it a point to remind their Youngers how much they had to sacrifice for them! God! I don’t understand this world, these people at all! I don’t want to swear by God anymore. I did it a couple of times and what happened consequently was a bleak reminder to me that There Is A Superior Power guiding our destiny. You lead a hassle-free, simple life; God will be good to you. If you are a schemer, a strategist, something, some circumstances will instil the Fear of God in you. Someone very close to your heart may be caught up in the battle of Life and Death.
Let me give you an example, an example that I shared with the students this morning. Last year a student knocked on my door a day before the exam. She didn’t have any grammar book. When she asked me for it, I gave her the Wren and Martin that I had bought many years ago. You won’t get such a priceless copy anywhere any more. She promised to return it the very next day. She forgot. I thought of reminding her but then the exams were going on and I felt it was just not the right time to be asking for the book back. I have received a lot from the students their honesty, sincerity, simplicity have bowled me over. I’d say 99 per cent of them are just incredible. You can learn so much from them. Anyway, the exam got over and I didn’t hear from her. I was sad to have been dealt such a raw deal. Anyway, when the result was declared a few months later, she didn’t qualify. Life always has its way of paying back with interest at times! I don’t know if she remembered my book or left it with someone else but the gist of the matter is – you yourself are responsible for your actions. Every single action counts. If it is coated with good intentions, good will definitely come back to you. By leading a pure, loving, uncomplicated life, you bring good upon yourself. Your bad deeds will boomerang into taking life a few steps closer to sheer hell!
My sister is helpless today. I don’t know whether some people are laughing inside at her condition or not. Nor do I know how much faith my sister has in me with the passage of time. But let me tell you, my sis, that as long as you don’t change your basic goodness, as long as you are true to yourself –No power on earth can overrule you, boss over you or make you feel low. Let me wind up today’s rather monotonous account by sharing Leo Tolstoy’s epic story: God Sees the Truth But Waits.
The protagonist was imprisoned for no fault of his own on charge of murder. He had to spend the next 27 years of his life in jail. Can you believe it? 27 years means life was as good as over for him. But then the real culprit got caught on some other charges. He was placed in the adjacent cell. He became remorseful finding the pious man suffering on his (the criminal’s) account. He, deeply repentant, revealed the truth to the jail authorities. When the Jailor came to the cell of the man with the release order, he was found lying dead on the floor of the cell.
I know people might ask me what the pious man got from Life ? I don’t know. I am no philosopher. But what brings a great deal of peace to my mind is the fact that the man didn’t die feeling low and demoralized. TRUTH took 27 years to be out though, that’s all.
