Some Friends Are Forver (7)
Some Friendship Isn’t Meant to Last Long :
Friends are expected to play an important role in our lives. They should. Otherwise, Life will be all work multiplied manifolds and very little fun. But there comes a time in life when it is best to withdraw from a friendship if one of the friends is too selfish or seems botherless about the importance of “personal space” in the other friend’s life.
I have had the good fortune of making many friends through The Journey of Life. I wrote about some of those precious friends. I am thankful to them for adding invaluable experiences and wonderful memories to my life.
Today, I want to write about a friend called Debashish or more popularly “Debu”. He told me once we became kind of inseparable, “Debjyoti” in the words of a very popular dada of our locality, Debu told me that we had even studied at the same school, Sarada Shishu Bidyavaban at the primary level. Unfortunately, I didn’t remember a thing about us having been in the same class!
I have had two not so pleasant experiences about him. I have already shared about the first experience when, on a day, I along with my nephew, Bapi, was heading somewhere. As we turned round the Shiv Mandir towards Dehi Entally Road, a bicycle coming from behind, hit Bapi. I don’t remember if Debu used any slangs or not after jamming into Bapi, whether he apologised to him, but I felt very proud of Bapi, as in a flash he dealt a series of blows to Debu.( I know peace-loving people will find nothing heroic in this incident) but Bapi was a very courageous guy. I’d like to believe that he is still popular in and around that area called Bhu Kailash in Khiderpore.
The second incident that featured Debu was not so pleasant either. Here another nephew and I had some fun at his expense. We had fun as he was turning out to be a nuisance in the locality. I don’t find the two of us teaching Debu a lesson anything to be proud of now but some things in life can’t be rewound and undone like you can with a watch!
Anyway, it was towards the end of my college life when we became very close friends. He had by then earned some kinda notoriety in our area. He was a good friend as he, first of all, helped me find a job in a Show Room near Behala Team Depot. It was a laborious one as I had to catch a bus from Esplanade early in the morning to get to Behala and it took nearly 2 hours in those days. I was the all in all there. The owner of the Show room, who had a very “chalu” sweet shop at the crossing of S. N. Banerjee Road and Moulali, was a nice man and known to Debu. I worked there for a year before I decided to try out my luck with “Anubad Patrika”, a bilingual magazine published from College Street, Kolkata.
Another incident I can vividly recall featuring Debu was the night when someone close to me got taken in the Lake Police Station, my elder bro, along with two other relatives and I taxied our way to the Police Station. It was nearly 10.30 p.m. when we boarded the taxi. I called Debu and without any hesitation, he accompanied us. That’s what friends are for, we are used to hearing that phrase quite frequently, aren’t we?
So, how come our friendship got cut short abruptly in The Journey of Life? There must be quite a number of reasons. The first being, his nagging nature. Though he was working in the Education Division, Barasat, Debu preferred to be kinda my shadow during his free time. Things came to such a pass that I dreaded the thought of him knocking on the door with his characteristic, indistinct, toothy “Bappa, achis?” (Is Bappa at home?)
He must have been one reason why I decided to leave for Bhutan. He had a steady job while I wasn’t earning more than ₹450 by giving tuitions in the 80s. Mentally, I could never reconcile myself to the generosity of some friends. If someone richer, spent ₹30 on me, I’d at least try to repay by spending at least ₹10 or ₹15. Anyway, Debu was very happy when I had that offer from Bhutan. He encouraged me to go telling me, “Pahari lokera khub hardy hoi. Tachara tor okhaney ebro-khebro pathey hatachala kortey kortey annyorakom manoshikata hoye jabey… ” (The people of the mountains are normally very hardy. Besides, walking on those uneven trails would make you mentally tougher..)
He was there to see me off at the Howrah Station when I was leaving for Bhutan via Bongaigaon for the first time. The nature of my job was such that I couldn’t come down frequently. Besides, I was posted to a remote school in Bumthang.
When I came down during winter vacations, Dubu would come and be my shadow again! I need to describe one thing here that helped me grow up. Debu was into gym and all that kinda things. He was broad-chested, hairy and mascular. He gave people the impression that he delighted in breaking noses and bones. I must have been internally in awe of his physique. That evening we were going out as usual. He said something that made me lose my peace of mind. I simply lost my head and pushed him casually. I was surprised to find him being forced into the entrance of the house next door.
On coming out, he gave me a wild look, “Baba, tor hatey to khub jor achhey rey.. ” You have very powerful hands. That was the day I grew out of our friendship. Our distance grew over time to such an extent that for the past 15 years, we have hardly seen one another!
Debu has been coming to my place again. Last time he came, I told him bluntly that I have learnt to keep away from friends. He called me the next day asking me to call and save his number. I did neither.
Last night, when he visited me again, I talked to him about a relative of my wife. She was coming to our house almost 13-14 years after my marriage. That afternoon, I produced a brilliant performance in front of my wife regarding how I was gonna deal with her relative. I simply told my wife at the end that once a relative, is always a relative. Similarly, a true friend is a friend for all seasons and for all the right reasons. Once a relative or friend keeps away from you on one pretext or the other, you can rest assured that s/he was never meant to be a relative or friend.
Debu will keep coming, especially as he told Sis, at her request. Oh, did I tell you something about his daughter? His daughter scored 93 in English in the HS (XII). She has opted to major in English from the prestigious Sanskrit College, which has been granted the status of a University now.
You know the funny thing? Last night, I spent some time trying to find if I had a FB friend called Debashish. When I didn’t find any, I started looking for friends with the title ‘Das’. There wasn’t any Debashis either. But there were 7 or 8 friends with that title. Among them was a girl called Rina with 6 friends (Debu at the time of his departure, hugging me, stated that his daughter didn’t make too many friends). I was unsympathetic enough to ‘unfriend’ that girl from my list of FB”Friends”!
“Good for her. It’ll give her more time to study harder. When you’re a student, the less friends you have, the better. Besides, in this cut-throat, competitive world, where securing 1% more may turn out to be a matter of life and death, so far as one’s career is concerned, having less friends is a blessing.”
Debu nodded his head. I didn’t look back at him as I headed back home. Like I told him, I felt like having wasted another 2 hours of my life talking to Debu last evening. Those two hours seemed utterly meaningless and absurd to myself last night. They do so at this point of time as well!
The End
