Two-in-One

Two-in-one

“I have felt very bad. I do not remember what has happened to any of my patients, but I have remembered you.’’

His manly voice loaded with unexpected depth of genuine remorse kept on ringing in her ears. 

“It does not mean you have been engaged for so many years with a person whom you do not approve completely that you have to marry that person because you did not get anybody else.’’

“I feel you should not do this marriage. It is so problematic.’’

She had said,“Everybody has problems.’’ 

At this stage, could she think of someone less problematic, more reasonable? Was it possible?

Still he had repeated before she left,“ I feel you should not marry.’’

She: “Then you find someone else for me.’’

He had smiled,“ OK. I will try.’’ He gulped. He could not say further.

His words kept ringing in her ears-“You try to give happiness to yourself. The most important thing is to keep yourself O.K.’’

With a very soft and tender smile which made all his toughness melt, he had assured her, “ Do not worry so much. Nothing bad will happen to you.’’

Out of his tough exterior had emerged a friendly lover genuinely concerned about her well-being.

She had asked before leaving, “ Am I leaving something? Have I taken everything?’’

There was a pause, then came the manly voice, “No. As there is nothing left on my table, you have taken everything.’’

Actually he wanted to say, “You are leaving me.’’

Her whole soul seemed to be absorbed in those few minutes enwrapped in conversation. Her mind was becoming more and more occupied with him and detached from her existing imperfect lover who spoke a lot but could not end up keeping promises of commitment. He had lots of insecurities and he felt that it was never the perfect time to end up tying the knot. He also did not want to drag her into the troubles of his life. Always there was some problem or the other that deterred him from taking the final plunge. 

For many years she had worked a lot to make the relationship come to this stage.

Initially it was not approved . After a lot of effort on her part the final approval could be made.

She was in a strange and funny phase of her life. Unexpected turn of events did not make the expected things happen. Lots of contradictory thoughts about her would-be-husband plagued her mind- especially the striking contrast of behaviour, statements and opinions. Still she felt his positive contributions in her life.

But now life was full of hope.

He had promised to marry in spring. The marriage date meant a lot to her! It was just the day before her Birthday. She felt that it would be her best birthday gift to wake up as a bride. 

“ I know I am a bit sick, but don’t cry. If I am alive I will come and marry you.’’

“Evening is a problem. If you can arrange in the morning then it will be possible.’’

A beautiful marriage ceremony had been organized in a beautiful room. She had worn her yellow Benarasi and red veil, gold ornaments, a garland of flowers keeping pictures of Hindu gods, goddesses and Bhagavad Geeta as sakshi. A beautiful painting of Lord Shiva symbolizing calmness and self-control “Shonjom’’ done by her was also there. These two were essential attributes she had desired in her husband. This painting had magically always generated positive feelings of happiness and peace even in the most uncertain and disturbing times. She had decided never to sell this painting. There were yellow and red roses everywhere. 

He had come into the room early in the morning, even before she had entered. A divine light had lighted up the marriage hall. Her mother was there looking beautiful like a goddess. Her father was his former good-humored self without gait disorder. She was so happy that he was walking with so much ease! 

Beautiful birds have come in to see the wedding. Beautiful flowers peeped in through the open windows. Her childhood toys had come alive and were playing and dancing. Many children had come in to celebrate the occasion. They encircled her, danced and sang. Among the guests, nobody was infected with the diseases of lust, gluttony and jealousy. There was no evil eye to see the couple.

There was a beautiful table with a compact spread of the most beautiful light food items having soft, gentle, soothing taste. There were beautiful fairies to serve in the most beautifully designed glasses, bowls and plates.

She wept with joy, and the divine light created many patterns on the teardrops. There was her man. She was having happy visions of her radiant and glowing pregnant self dressed up in a dark green beautiful gown. Wherever she looked, she saw that vision. A sweet child seemed to come running to her with open arms. 

 

He was holding her in his arms……………she felt no apprehension. She was flying.

………………….

She was on a beautiful bed with the petals of the most beautiful flowers of the world –petals were raining on her from heaven when she awoke…….it was her new birth……….

It was before autumn on a beautiful auspicious full moon occasion- she was in a beautiful temple……..the flooding moonbeams caressed her and another man……………..

She had married both men……………….Both had loved her and tried to do their best for her…………if one lacked in some understanding, the other was more well –equipped…………they both were blessed to get her love and care.